A Moment of Clarity!

A few days ago I commented on Ivan Proust’s blog thanking him for his inspiring post. I said I really needed the inspiration and the motivation for the day as I was heading out for a very important meeting. His post ruminated the fact that we, as humans, need to feel that we are in control of our lives! He chose to end the post with the line focus on the few things of importance that you can really influence.” This line got me thinking! Why, you ask?anigif_optimized-10152-1432067639-1

Well, for the past few days I have been really anxious about that important meeting and its outcome. Of course there was nothing I could do to control the outcome, other than prepare myself in advance and give the meeting my best effort! But worry still, I did! It may sound an excuse if I said that my anxiety was so high because a lot depended on that meeting, my future including! Needless to say, the anxiety was really getting to me!

Anxiety is something that I have been struggling with for a very long time. Ever since I decided to break away from the oppression that I was subjected to, I have been trying hard to fight imagesanxiety. At first, I tried to ignore it, then I tried to live with it and then finally I decided to get help and do something about it. Everything that is important to me becomes an anxiety inducing thing, be it an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Problem is in life, we come across many events and situations where the outcome is uncertain. If we start to worry about every single one of them, then worrying soon becomes a full time job and can be exhausting. And this kind of worrying soon leads to anxiety and anxiety related disorders.

I remember reading somewhere that our mind is like a sponge, it absorbs as much as it can but it also has the power to drain out what is not required and shouldn’t be retained! Now Anxietyimagine the sponge absorbing everything around it and holding all of that in but refusing to drain out the unnecessary things? At some point the sponge will become saturated and will not be able to absorb anymore from outside. What can it do at this stage? It will go over an over what has already been absorbed without wanting to drain out or let go, making it a vicious cycle. Just like that sponge, our minds will also get entwined in a vicious circle if we do not drain out the unnecessary thoughts making it toxic for us.

The importance of this meeting had me so worried that it became my only focus (apart from my son, of course!). I did not think about anything else, did not do anything else. I couldn’t focus on the alumni that I volunteered to help run (thank you Anand for taking care of everything when I was not around much), I couldn’t focus on my reading (I have lots of blog posts to catch up on) and I couldn’t focus at all on my writing! I sat down to write 3 times that week and each time I felt lost.  I tried to soothe myself claiming that it is a temporary writer’s block and that I will soon get over it. But deep inside I knew it was not that. The problem was my anxiety! I was too anxious thinking about this one thing to have space in my mind for anything else!

Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

Thankfully, this realization deep inside struck me like lightening and gave me that much needed moment of clarity. While I was right to worry a bit about the meeting, making that the only focus did not do justice to my mind! My mind and my thoughts deserved to continue to absorb from my surrounding. It deserved to drain out what was toxic to me. My mind deserved to feel creative and it deserved to let me pen that creativity onto paper! It deserved to be free of thoughts every once in a while.

Since then I have made it a practice to tell myself that “What has to happen will happen whether I worry about it or not!” I know that I will not be able to break the habit straight away but I am positive that with time I should be able to control it!

P.S: For those wondering, yes my meeting went well! It was indeed a game changer, but I am glad it is going the way I want it to! 🙂

31 thoughts on “A Moment of Clarity!

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  5. Excellent. It reminded me of Sherlock Holmes…in one of those stories, he tells Watson that he doesn’t want to clutter up his mind with useless information, because then there would be no space for the information that he actually needs to store there. The sponge analogy really drives the point home.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am going to put the link for your post on The Sunday Wrap when it goes up later tonight or tomorrow. Each week that post allows you to provide the link to the favorite post you wrote during the week as well as the link for the favorite post you read on someone else’s blog during the week. For this week, my favorite is your “A Moment of Clarity!”

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  7. Thank you so much for being so willing to share…anxiety is the worse! Over the years I’ve definitely battled with my share of anxiety, and I am raising a daughter who’s got it too…prayer and meditation and and taking the focus off myself by helping others has been the best way for me to overcome it…most of the time! I love your quote “What will happen will happen whether I worry or not” very helpful…thanks for sharing!

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  8. Oh that ugly anxiety. When I’m facing an ‘all or nothing’ challenge, I breathe deeply and tell myself, “You can’t lose what you don’t already have.” In the end, things work out the way they were supposed to, now or later whether you fret or not. Glad everything worked out for you.

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  9. Hi Anand, Thank you so much for the encouragement! Really appreciate it. I have been meaning to practice meditation and breathing techniques for my anxiety but haven’t really got around to starting it! Would love to hear your techniques. I will send you an email shortly! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dear Rashmi,

    Glad to hear about the moment of clarity and meeting. You have explained very well how our minds tend to absorb negativity from our surroundings. It’s a wonderful read.

    I can recommend some breathing techniques to tackle anxiety which have helped me alleviate mine. Please drop me a mail if you would like to know about them.

    Sincerely,
    Anand 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Glad the outcome was a good one. Anxiety is very stressful and hinders us from enjoying our lives–but we have to learn how to work around and with it. Best of luck and I wish you well. You are not alone! XOXOXOXO!!!

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  12. That’s a very good trait! Continue to naive! It’s much better than falling into this trap of anxiety and depression! I was a patient of chronic anxiety related disorder but after taking help I’ve become much better even then there are many times when I let my worries get the better of me!

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  13. I’m glad that your meeting went smoothly. Though I don’t suffer from acute anxiety, I do get ridiculously nervous about things I have no power over. I’ve taken on the (maybe naive) mindset that ‘everything will be alright in the end,and if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end’!

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  14. I enjoy reading genuine writings – the one directly from heart. Thanks for sharing your experience. Glad that I’m not alone stuck in this vicious cycle. Even after realization its really hard to break. And the mantra “What has to happen will happen whether I worry about it or not!” I too say this to myself 😉

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